he said "hey,how could you love me this way?"

ya know I've been single most of my life. I haven't had many relationships and the ones I have had,well they were short lived. the longest relationship i've had was just over 5 months.
for the most part I am ok being single . I have my freedom to do whatever. to hang out with friends and to flirt with whomeever. it isn't horrible.however, its annoying and weird when I am around my close friends and they all have a some one. I am the odd ball. I am the only one without a boyfriend or anything remotely like it. everybody sits and looks cute and does typical couply things. then theres me,alone.
Its great that I don't settle. its great that I have standards and self worth. but after a while it just sucks.
i liked this guy for a while but he honestly lives too far away. hes what I want but not.its complicated and weird for me to explain.

i get tired of "julie,you are so cute.you have such beautiful hair and make up. you are dressed so cute. you are gorgeous." beauty fades.
wow. that can be said all day. and I don't honestly think of myself that way. I know I am not ugly or gross. I know I am on some level pretty. but I am not small buy any means and I know how people think. You can say all day some guys like bigger girls.while true,its not happening to me any time soon. or they are guys that I have nothing in common with.

so that we all understand, I am not desperate,nor do I want any one to feel sorry for me. Sometimes I can just feel bothered. my life isn't spent worrying and concerning myself with how the world or men view me. but we all know its nice to in some way shape or form feel wanted. for me,not to be the awkward one.

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Julianna but everyone calls me Julie. I live in southern illinois. I'm 24. I do hair aka cosmetologist and watch a lot of re-runs.music is my life and it makes me happy. my friends are my family.I'm full of useless information. i'm extremely opinionated,blunt,and honest. small talk is stupid and I have no use for it.I'm a big girl,always have been and I like who I am. if you have a problem with "fat people" you can go fuck yourself and bite my ass. however,I am a nice person for the most part and I just have no time for stupidity. sarcasm is my middle name. we only live once so don't take life so seriously.

golden girls,hello kitty,going to shows,st.louis,houston,piercings,mad tv,dane cook,my momma,my brotha,get togethers,target,christmas,my birthday,halloween,the state,reno 911,warm vanilla sugar,bottled water,singing,uncle buck,goonies,seinfeld,etc.

smoking,drugs,stupid people,eggs mixed with other foods(like omlettes),the word"yuns",jackasses,smelly people,dirty finger nails,the radio,country music,most of tv,etc.

low,rilo kiley,they might be giants,sufjan stevens,pedro the lion,motion city soundtrack,damien rice,lou barlow,jimmy eat world,mobius band,ted leo and RX,ben folds,ratatat,iron and wine,that dog,the urge,spoon,death cab for cutie,etc.

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